Google

Getting a Job Promotion in Ottawa ...

Private Sector: "Hey Joe, you've been with the company for 9 years now, you have a good track record and you do quality work. Some of your ideas have translated to $1000's per year in savings and your streamlining recommendations have reduced over-head by 10-15%. We would like you to head the team to implement some of your other ideas - since you came up with them obviously you know them best. How much salary increase do you think is justify-able?" Then you negotiate money.


Public Sector: "Hey Joe, you've been with the department for 9 years now, you have a good track record and you do quality work. Some of your ideas have translated to $1000's per year in savings and your streamlining recommendations have reduced over-head by 10-15%. We would like you to head the team to implement some of your other ideas - since you came up with them obviously you know them best. So what we are going to do is put a notice up for internal and external applicants for a vague job description. You should apply, but not by giving your resume to your Manager and Director, but by sending a text only version through a web site so that it can be analyzed by a computer program to make sure that the terms you use in your resume match those that we put in the essential qualifications section at a rate greater then 50%. If your resume makes it through the screening, you will be invited along with the other candidates to participate in a written exam to assess your general knowledge of computing tends in 6 areas. The test will be written by a 3rd party who is not familiar with the specific tasks of the job you are testing for. If you happen to score 60% or better in each of the sections, you will be invited for an interviews with your manager, the director and a neutral HR 3rd party. The interview questions will be graded, but the questions will be written by a 3rd party who is not familiar with the specific tasks of the job you are testing for. Should you pass the interview, you will need to provide 3 references that will be called and verified, even though you have worked here for 9 years and the job is in the same group, for the same manager you currently work for. If at the end of this process you happen to be the top candidate in the pool, you will receive a formal letter of offer from HR that you must sign and return within 10 days of the job posting. Once you have accepted, the job will become an acting position for the 3 month appeal process. If no one contests your job during the appeal period, then it will become indeterminate at the increment 1 salary level for the designation which is $2200 more than you currently earn. Good luck!"


Now Available as a Cartoon!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

brilliant!

Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

C.J. said...

This is seeing wide circulation in my (federal public service) department.

Sadly, it's more true than any outsider can imagine.

Anonymous said...

So. Very. True.

Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention the fact that if it's a big hiring activity (like 2000 or 5000 applicants) that there is often a random draw for who is going to be looked at in the 2nd stage of the process

Anonymous said...

One possible addition: "Your interview will involve you telling stories about time and conflict management that may not have any relationship with what you have ever actually done. Similar, you will probably be asked a question about ethics, for which the 'correct' answer in the interview probably differs enormously from the correct answer when actually doing your job."